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[Feb. 6th, 2005|10:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] | This made my day. I hope it makes yours. Thanks Cathleen!
Ten Things To Keep In Mind (to make your life a little better)
1. Trust Your Instincts. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't... fun, tempting...maybe, but not right.
2. Remember your manners. It doesn't cost you anything, but it speaks volumes about who you are. Having class starts with this.
3. Never let possessions "own" you. It's just stuff! The most valuable things in life- friends, respect, love, knowledge-don't cost money... Hokey, but true.
4. Nurture Your Friendships. The investment you make in true friends will pay huge dividends all your life- remember, you can't make and old friend.
5. Keep your hands clean. This is meant both literally and figuratively... it will save you a lot of regrets later...
6. Believe in yourself. Yeah, this is another hokey one, but you do happen to be the only you in existence, and you're also the only person in the world who can truly hold you back in life... Think about it.
7. Be grateful. Don't waste all your todays in anticipation of some grand tomorrow. Now is all we've got. Live in it!
8. Treat others the way you want to be treated. (Okay, so I didn't make this one up.) The point is, just because you're smarter or richer or prettier than someone else doesn't mean you're better. It just means you've been more blessed.
9. Always keep playing. Who says adults have to give up toys? Keep the little kid inside you alive... it keeps your imagination primed. Silly is good.
10. No matter what, you will always be loved. You don't have to test this one... Just carry it around in your back pocket, and know that, no matter what, you can always come home.
If you can only remember one- Remember you are loved. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|10:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] | Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one... IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16 Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
19. Running through sprinklers.
20. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
21. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
22. Laughing at an inside joke.
23. Friends.
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
27 Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
39. Watching the ____expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
45. Late nite trips to IHOP.
46. Being so madly in love that no one else in the world matters. ~a million blue M&M's~ |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2004|09:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | drained | ] | I found some quotes:
~if you look inside a girl's heart, you'd see how much she really cries. You'll find secrets hidden, best friends, and lies. But what you'll see the most is how hard it is to stay strong when nothing's right and everything is wrong.~
~when you have a smile on your face and a twinkle in your eye, only your true friends know your about to break down and cry.~
~tired of trying, tired of crying, yea im smiling but inside im dying.~
"Have a little faith in me." (i love that song!)
Thats all for now... I updated for my friends only earlier...so check that out too... |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 30th, 2004|03:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
The song by Nelly and Tim McGraw is so perfect right now:
Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again And I can’t keep picturing you with him And it hurts so bad, yeah Cause it’s all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again And I can’t take it yeah I can’t shake it Nooo
I can’t wait to see you Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes And it’s a shame that we got to spend our time Being mad about the same things Over and over again About the same things Over and over again Ohh But I think she’s leaving Ooh man she’s leaving I don’t know what else to do (I Can’t go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again And I can’t keep picturing you with him And it hurts so bad, yeah Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again yeah And I can’t take it yeah I can’t shake it Nooo
I remember the day you left I remember the last breath you took right in front of me When you said that u would leave I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything But I see clearly now And this choice I made keep playing in my head Over and over again Playing my head Over and over again Ohh I think she’s leaving Ooh man she’s leaving I don’t know what else to do (I Can’t go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again And I can’t keep picturing you with him And it hurts so bad, yeah Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again And I can’t take it I can’t shake it Nooo
(Now that I’ve realizes that I’m going down From all this pain you’ve put me through Every time I close my eyes I like it down I can’t go on not loving you)
Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again And I can’t keep picturing you with him And it hurts so bad, yeah Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again And I can’t take it I can’t shake it Nooo
Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again And I can’t keep picturing you with him And it hurts so bad, yeah Cause its all in my head I think about it over and over again I replay it over and over again And I can’t take it I can’t shake it Nooo
uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uhuh uh
Over and Over again Over and Over again Cause it’s all in my head
I dont know if things are better now or i am just thinking things are better.
We are talking and having good conversations and ill just leave it at that.
He knows what this song means to me.
I love him with all my heart.
Things always work out in the end.
You just have to give it time.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 29th, 2004|10:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] | Jeremy wrote this on Noc 22: i'm not sure what the deal is....but i really don't care anymore...do whatever...my heart is at your disposal... lately i've been studying for the SAT a lot. ( i actually need to start studying for the ACT too) I want to get into a college so bad. i really want to go to longwood....because they have a good Criminal Justice program....but now i don't know. i guess i just don't know what i want anymore. I know i want to go to college and do really well. I know i can. I want to go home so bad. i'm actually starting to like it up here...not being away from lindsey and stuff....but it's growing on me. i don't know what it is...Last night wasn't the greatest....we'll leave it at that...just for you lindsey. sometimes she frustrates me. that's all.
This we two days before he broke up with me. What happened in those two days that could have caused him to do what he did? he already kno everything that happened. he was still upset about it, but he still couldnt wait to see me and he still even wanted to go to longwood. then all of a sudden on Nov 24, he broke up with me. i just dont get it at all and he cant even explain it to me. all i want to do it talk to him, and he doesnt want to talk to me bc he said it hurts to bad. if it hurts to bad then why are YOU doing this to yourself and to me? I just want some answers and i tried to get them but i was cut short on saturday. i just love him so much, and i dont want him to regret what he is doing later. especially not seeing me when he had the chance to when he hadnt see me for a month and he wont see me for another month. i just want him to call me and talk to me, and help me understand. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2004|06:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] | Jeremy wrote this on Nov 15: you really shouldn't let everyone thing i'm the only one to blame for all of that....you weren't the perfect little angel either...but that's fine...i'll take the blame....just so it's all over...just so i don't have to be without you one more day....one more second...i can't do it anymore....i love you more than anything....
What happened to this man? What happened to the person i was dating? To the person who loved me more than anything. To the person who couldnt wait to see me. To the person who couldnt stand to be without me. To the person who thought i was their entire world. To the person who would do anything for me. TO the person who always made me happy. To the person who cared about me more than anyone else did. To the person who drove a million miles to see me or spend one night with me. To the person who called me all the time just to say hi. To the person who tried to get out of the airforce so he could be nearer to me. To the person who changed my life for the better. To the person that i truly love more than anything and anyone in the world.
Time will tell for me. Ill just wait for my fairy tale to come true like i know it will. I just hate waiting.
I love him. Always and forever. A million blu m&ms. |
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| This is my broken heart... |
[Nov. 27th, 2004|05:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hopeful | ] | Right now the reason i am hopeful is bc i want things to work out and i kno they will. i just have to wait for the right time.
Well i kno it is over between us right now. i dropped my his house tonight so he couldnt leave before i got their be i wanted to talk to him so bad. we walked around his neighborhood for a little while but he was constantly being distracted by people calling his phone asking where he was bc they had plans to go out tonight. it is like i wanted to talk to the one person i was coming home and looking forward too and i got to see him for like 30 minutes. it really sucks. and we ended bad bc his mother called again and he just walked off and i didnt know what to do. i just looked at him, and he looked at me. and that was it.
i just sucks bc they could have waited to go out and talk to me for a little while but he didnt want to. he said he already waited around for me enough bc we broke up alot when we first started dating and he was tired of waiting. i just wish he would give me another chance bc i kno we would work it out and that we are truly meant to be. i am so glad that i got to see him today. even if all we did was talk about our problem. it was nice to see him. he looked AWSOME. and i love his new haircut. he looked so much older and manly. hehe.
he said i will move on. no one can ever move on from their love. it is something that is always with them. jeremy will always be with me. i kno he still loves me and he wants to be with me. its jsut that right now he is hurting and it just hruts too much to see or talk to me.
so i have to wait until he is ready. ill be waiting... i will always wait for him. i will never move on. he is my one true love. i just hope he realizes it before it is too late. i have told him how i feel and now it is just up to him to figure out what his feelings are and what he wants to do. i know he sitll wants to be with me, its just that now is not the right now.
i hope he doesnt wait too long, bc i dont know how long i can stand crying everyday and just feeling all over sadness. it is the worst feeling in the world to know that my life is in someone elses hands. to know he is the one who determines whether or not we are together. he is the one who are entire relationship rides on.
i wanted him to promise me one thing and he couldnt even do that bc he said he has to reason to promise me anything. so basically i have to ties to him, and i am just like everyother girlfriend he has had. i do not want to be like that. i am different from all of them. i am the one true person that he loves and wants to be with. he just needs to realize it and take advantage of it. i am the only person that can love him the way i do, care for him the way i do.
Word of advice to everyone: one mistakes can change and entire relationship or in my case end one.
And just to let everyone kno, all my journal entrys are going to be sad and lonely. bc i love him so much. until i am with him again, this feeling will not go away.
"jeremy and lindsey" that is how it is meant to be and supposed to be. always and forever. a million blue m&ms.
When i look at the stars, i see his bright blue eyes and our furture together.
But let me ask you one thing: how can it be that someone who hurt me so bad, and i can still be madly in love with them. and get butterflies when i see them. and think that everything is going ot be ok just by looking in their eyes when the world is falling apart around me. Tell me that!
I can tell you. It is because i am still in love with this man and he is the one i want to be with always and forever.
Jeremy Pianalto is still mine! |
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| Looking back... |
[Nov. 26th, 2004|09:50 pm] |
He says i never cared, i just want to point out that all my past and future journal entrys were about him. and by reading those you know that i truly care about him and that he was my entire life. until now. just read them and let me know your opinion.
A.L.W.A.Y.S |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 26th, 2004|09:28 pm] |
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The end of "jeremy and lindsey" or not!
Jeremy wrote this. i just want to kno what happened to guy the guy i had been dating for two and a half years. he just left me and now i am all alone. i have no idea what to do. i have never felt like this before. what hurts the most is having the person you love tell you they do not want to see you until christmas. i already havent seen him since halloween and now i have to wait until christmas. it is the worst feeling to think we are never getting back together. i will never love the same. he is my only love and he can never and never will be replaced. at the end of his entry he says he will always be with me. and how muc he loves me and how i will always be his. i want to always be his but right now i am not even in the picture. i think he is trying to cut me out. maybe not totally but partially to the point he doesnt want to see me. he also said how much he loves to be with me and how he feels to be with me. he wont even consider seeing me. i just feel like if i can talk to him in person i will get through to him better. i guess that is why i feel like we are never going to get back together bc i wont be able to see him till christmas if i do not see him this weekend. i love him more than anything and he WAS my entire life. it is like i have no idea what to do anymore. i know that the scares i caused will never heal completely, but i want to try to even if they are a little opne if we start dating again. maybe if we do start dating again, i can heal the scares by telling the truth and slowly gain his trust back. i kno that he will never trust me again like he did trust me. and i kno that i ruined that all by myself and i am willing to take the consiquenses. which i am right now. i am paying for it by not being with the only person in the world that matters to me, jeremy. i did things i would have done differently if i had the chance to and believe me they will never happen again. i made too many mistakes for him to forgive me. i pasted my chances. and now i am alone for it. at times like this i feel that loving is never worth it. but i still cannot forget all the good times we had and for that, i am glad i feel in love with jeremy. he makes me the happiest i have ever felt. but at the same time. the worst i have ever felt. but i am still happy i had the chance to date the most wonderful man in the world. i still kno we will end up together. it has always been "jeremy and lindsey" since we were little, and it will be later in life. when he realizes that no one can make him as happy as i do. noone will never have the love for him that i do. no one will ever be there like i am. no one will ever take my place. i am here to stay and i will try my hardest to gain the trust that he lost in me. i want to mend the scares i caused and i kno that will take time. but the first step in that, is communication. but he will not even see me. so i have no idea what is going to happen but i hope for the best. i love jeremy pianalto so much and that will never change. always and forever. a million blue m&ms!
Jeremy wrote this on Nov 15: i guess the past few days have been confusing. I've gotten used to it. My brain no long understand the normal. it doesn't understand what people say anymore. there are strains and tears in every inch of my heart and right now i'm just happy. my life fell apart and rebuilt everything in less than 24 hours...saturday i slept until 2...shouldn't have woken up at all. Then i ended up arguing with lindsey...all day. really it was all day and night saturday and all day and night sunday. sunday was horrible. things were said that shouldn't have been. actually nothing i said, based on events occuring at the moment, i would take back. i meant it all. the things she said made me want to never talk to her again. but then i guess i know what it feels like to be so mad you don't know what else to do. i know what it feels like to regret saying something before you even say it. it's just something inside of you snaps. and thats it. You may have ruined everything you've worked so hard for. and if not thank your lucky start. I love her. i always will. i will never be put in a situation like that again. i will leave without looking back. Lindsey wrote in her journal that all of this was a dream. it wasn't a dream. scars mark my heart. battle wounds drape across my feelings. that is no dream. that isn't sureal. it's totale real. and it hurts still. Lindsey said she didn't do anything wrong. well i'd hate to bring up the past but she's wrong. lindsey did worse than i did. But it's not a pissing contest. not anymore. we're together now. and that's all i care about. one more day behind us. one more speed bump behind is. everytime we do this i wonder if we have enough umpf to get over it. sometimes we stop and look back down the hill and get scared i think of how high we've gotten. but then we both realize that being that high is where we want to be. and being that high just means no one can touch us. no one can break that. i love her.
theres just something about her. even tho i don't agree with her sometimes, and i feel like she could do more sometimes. i'm happy with her. it's not about the little things. it's about us as a whole. how she makes me feel when i'm with her. no one will ever understand that. no one will come close. she's mine and she always will be....thanks meredith for standing up for us...and not being afraid to. Thanks nick for making sure nothing goes unsaid. thanks sarah for just being there to listen....thanks to anyone that helped her....thanks...
i love you lindsey....i always will...
I will always love him and i hope he returns the feeling. I want him to call me and see me before i leave for college on Sunday. Ill let you know what happens. its not up to me. i know what would happen if i was in his shoes. it would not be like this. i would be seeing him right now having a good time. but this was a huge deal to him and therefore it is a huge deal to me. i just hope he finds it in his heart to forgive me and take me back or at least try to work things out. he is my life and my love.
A.L.W.A.Y.S |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2004|11:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |

I was told my some friends, they wanted to see this picture bigger so here you go!
Love you Jeremy! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2004|05:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |

Just thought that everyone would want to know what the love of my life looks like.
I love you Jeremy! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2004|05:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] | Well today was a better day.
I wrote as my away message last night, i just wanted to wake up and eveything that happened be a dream. And it was...
This morning i was woken by a call from Jeremy. He called and told my how it was always "Jeremy and Lindsey" and that is how it is supposed to be. Not even him breaking up with me could rip us apart. He couldnt sleep well and i was basically up all night thinking about everything. I cant really be mad that he made the mistake of breaking up with me, he knew waht he did was wrong and i am so glad taht he realized it before it was too late for us.
So that is the end of that, problem solved! I know everyone may not think that i should have taken him back after what happend, but you dont even know everthing that we have been through to be together. I dont care if he did it for 48 hours, it was worth it for me to wait for him.
I finished my science paper i had to write that is due tomorrow. I have a science lecture tonight at 7:30, that i dont want to go to.
Well time for dinner! Im hungry!
I love you Jeremy! Plus im in the BEST MOOD EVER! I got my love back and i finished my research paper! |
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| Screaming for help |
[Nov. 15th, 2004|12:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] | Today is one of those days that you wishes never ever happened but it did, and i cannot change that. All i can do it say im sorry, but that is never good enough. i am never good enough. he always wants more, and i can never give more. i guess this is just how it is going to be.
No more "Jeremy and Lindsey", we are now two seperate people living our own seperate lives that hopefully will eventually come together in the end. but right now it looks like that is never going to happen. i always seem to be the one that gets hurts. i can just be happy like all of my friends.
i just sat here tonight after he left me and thought about all the time we had together, and how that is not going to happen again. ~All the dances, the notes, the letter, all the girls we fought through, the distance, the promises, the hopes, the plans, the dreams, the fights, the parents, the wishes, the church, the ex's, and the love we had.
Now all of that is gone, and all i have to show for all of that is my own memories. i have no one else to share them with, its all on me.
Sometimes, i wish that our relationship would had never happened. but then how would i know what true love is, how would i know what i want my husband to be like. well i thought i had found him, but i guess that was all a dream to me and not reality. like they say, it is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all.
I guess the only problem with jeremy and i, is that we found each other too young and he wasnt ready for an adult relationship. but i guess nither was i. it just sucks it had to end like this after everything we have been through.
it is all just sureal, to think that i have lost him forever. it hasnt even sunk in yet that tomorrow when i wake up, he wont be their for me, and i wont have that constant loving support. that we arent even together. i dont know how to tell my parents, and i dont really want to. bc when i do, i kno it will be forever.
my heart just hurts right now. i hate feeling like this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2004|07:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] | I LOVE YOU JEREMY!
He is all i ever need and all i ever want! |
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| Tell me about it ....... STUD! |
[Nov. 10th, 2004|12:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] | I love the college life. Staying up late without having my parents telling me i have to go to bed, doing my homework when i want to, and being FREE.
My roomie and i wanted "Stepmom" late night till after 1. It suck a good movie that we couldnt go to bed until it was over. I got up this morning, got ready for class, then went and talked to my advisor about my classes for the next 4 yrs. You want to be stressful, try thinking about the next 4 years of your life and that will do it!
I have this huge bruise on my ankle for my pe class yesterday, but it was so worth it, i love playing indoor soccer. Well got to go to lunch!
Love you Jeremy! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2004|10:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | devious | ] | (Jeremy and i talking about my Peter Pan quote)
Jeremy: I do like it... because to me... you are my fairy dust... you make everything perfect... just the way it should be Me: AWW you are the best honey!
I am so happy to have fallen in love with this man! He makes me that happiest person in the world. He means the world to me, he is my everything, he is my all. My one and only true love.
Today was an alright day. I woke up sick and i still had to go to all my classes today. Then it was on to physical education. We played the bestest sport in the world... INDOOR SOCCER! Some of the guys thought that i couldnt play because i was a girl. Boy did i prove them wrong when i kicked their BUTTS! I even kicked some guy in the nuts with the balls. I didnt mean to, but he got in my way when i tried to score a goal. Get out of my way, lindsey is coming through! I made my four year schedule today, that was the hardest thing ever, but i made it and thank goodness i get to turn that in tomorrow. Then i talked to the love of my life. I cant wait to see him in 2 weeks!
Someone sent me this today: SEX is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you don't multiply! (HAHA i just thought it was so funny)
well its time to watch the shows! see everyone again tomorrow. same place, maybe different time, depending on when i update!
I love you Jeremy! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2004|10:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | grateful | ] |
This goes out to a very special boyfriend who just spent 2 hours
tyring to get my journal to look how it looks now. I love
you so much JEREMY! you are the best person in the world!
I owe you big time!
For all of you who do not know about the inside tinkerbell things,
here it is. Jeremy calls me his little tinkerbell from PeterPan. It
is just our thing, so i wanted a part of him in my journal so that is
my way of always having him their with me. Especially when
we can not be physically together. He is living in Vermont and
i am in Virginia. Yes, i know it sucks but we are doing pretty well
with the distance thing.
Thanks Jeremy for all you help and continuous support
while i am in college and through everything. You are my
number one fan!
I love you more than anything in the world! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2004|08:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] | Jeremy this is for you...its our perfect song!
Before Your Love by Kelly Clarkson
I wonder how I ever made it through a day How did I settle for a world in shades of grey When you go in circles all the scenery looks the same And you don't know why Then I looked into your eyes Where the road stretched out in front of me And I realized
(chorus) I never lived before your love I never felt before your touch I never needed anyone to make me feel alive But then again, I wasn't really living I never lived before your love
I wanted more than just an ordinary life All of my dreams seemed like castles in the sky I stand before you and my heart is in your hands And I don't know how I survived without your kiss 'Cause you've given me a reason to exist
(chorus)
And I don't know why Why the sun decides to shine But you breathed your love into me just in time
I never lived before your love I never felt before your touch I never needed anyone to make me feel alive But then again, I wasn't really living I never lived, i never lived, before your love |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2004|07:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
Now it is your turn to write. Tell me a story, a funny moment, something you remember about me or us. Give me and other people something to read to let them know about me and my personality.
I LOVE YOU JEREMY! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 7th, 2004|06:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | creative | ] | This is what love is all about. Even little children can see it...
Love explained by 4-8 year olds:
-When grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over & paint her toenails anymore. So grandpa does it for her now, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love ~Rebecca, 8
-Love is when you go out to eat & give somebody most of your french fries w/out making them give you any of theirs ~Chrissy, 6
-Love is what makes you smile when you're tired ~Terri, 4
-Love is when mom makes dad's coffee & sips it before giving it to him to make sure it tastes ok ~Danny, 7
-Love is when you tell a boy you like his shirt, so he wears it everyday
-Love is when mom gives dad the best piece of chicken ~Chris, 7
-When you love some1, your eyelashes go up & down & little stars come out of you ~Mark, 6
-Love is when mom sees dad on the toilet & doesn't think its gross ~Jessica, 8 |
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